********* Classified **********
Moose for Sale
Zookeeper looking for indefinite babysitter (or gypsy) to take cabin fevered Moose. After close inspection of regulations, exasperated zookeeper learned it is illegal to sell critters on eBay. Willing to discuss terms of a long-term lease?
Moose is highly skilled and will bring you lots of unwanted entertainment. He has a talent at funky hair styling and has just expanded his resume to include interior design. Tired of plain white walls? Our artistic Moose can draw a larger than life caterpillar in less time than it take you to check on dinner. Sit back and check your email while he graces you with a whole new look in your living and dining room. Just this morning he perfected a multi-room mural using three dozen eggs. His ingenuity will amaze you! He will even autograph your best friend's furniture.
Surprise your husband or wife with a new look around your house. Experience the thrill of ice skating on egg yolks as you rush for the phone. No need to brave arctic temperatures outside. Take off your shoes and socks and feel the gook squish between your toes.
Call now and our Moose will even teach you amazing feats of science. Be amazed at his ability to defy gravity. Did you know that the splatter from a 50-pound Moose jumping in a three-inch puddle of egg yolk can hit a ten-foot ceiling? You can if you open your home now.
Zookeeper guarantees hours of excitement guessing what he will do next.
Disclaimer: There are no exchanges, refunds, or returns after Moose has left the property.
We are not responsible for any damage or personal injury that occurs once he is in your possession.